The Debut Doggy

After a four year hiatus in blogging, I've been (consistently) pressured to get back on and share some memories.  It's funny how a year of yuck can roll into bouts of laughter as Gavin and Sophia read and reread past posts.  2020 has certainly given us much to consider and even more for which to be thankful.  One of these blessings would include our most recent adoption of, what we assume, is a full-bred Plott hound named Shelby.  Shelby Lou Stinkybottoms, to be precise.

How do you acquire a doggy with a name like"Shelby Lou Stinkybottoms," you may be wondering?  There are a few necessary qualifications that must be checked off the requirement list to have such a nombre.  First, you must insist on looking for the absolute cutest doggy face on the internet within a 45-mile radius.  You can't give up unless you feel drawn to such a mugshot.  Second, you must ensure that you find a pup who has many health issues, wherein you begin asking yourself if you've made the right decision.  Because of course, you have.  Third,  you really need to be on the lookout for the gassiest, stinkiest, laziest, and most stubborn dog on the market.  No other will do.  To be sure she can fulfill her namely doo-dees, just sit around and wait a minute, and she'll perform right on cue.  

Of course, I jest at the journey we've endured in her past six months of residing in our home.  Seeking her out was so easy and she fits right into our puzzle-piece of a crazy family.  We adore her, smells and all.  What more can you ask for, when your eyes are watering from the stench?  Not much, that's for sure.  You're just thankful she's there to ignore you, sleep, and stare at you to give her (yet) another walk.  Greedy little gumdrop, that one.  

So, today officially makes her 2020 Doggy Debut to the world.  Soon it will be 2021 and the future looks bright for this (almost) euthanized hound.  I think she's thankful for that and for us.  I'll make sure I ask her between her naps.  

No Naps for Mama

After a long night of little rest and family in town, it was time for a nap.   If you know anything about Gavin, you'd know that he HATES naps.  He does, however, like to keep everyone else from taking one.  So, just as you would suppose, he came in and asked to snuggle and ensures that no rest will be had for the weary. 

He quickly made it worth my while as he hopped onto my bed, banging his elbow into my face and his knee into my stomach.  "I'm awake now," I yelp in pain.  He started giggling uncontrollably as he has an agenda, as he usually does.  Gavin likes to play a guessing game at any times possible.  They are always random questions like, "What is my favorite game that I played at my friends house?  Your choices are 'Minions,' 'Disney Infinity 2.0,' 'Minecraft,' or 'Toy Story.'"  As you can see, you'd really have no idea as to the answer.  These questions persist, ending with a grade and a percentage applied by my strict assessor. 

Although this process can be a tad bit annoying, I must say that it holds the key to what Gavin values as important in life.  It's his quirky way of sharing little pieces of himself and facts he's learned and deemed worthy of sharing.  Yes, that day, I could have used a little rest and relaxation without playing a round of "Jeopardy;" however, I think about how my time with him is fleeting and years are passing so quickly.  Will he giggle and jump all over my bed next year?  Will he share little tidbits about himself, even if it is in code, as a teenager?  I panic when thinking about how I need to steal up whatever I can get. 

We spent about 20 minutes playing the quiz game until we thought we were all giggled out.  It was time to get up and get our afternoon started when Gavin asked to weigh himself on the scale.  He proudly announces, "I'm 58 labels!"  So cute. 

"Lbs means pounds, not labels, honey.," I reply (smiling). 

"That doesn't make sense.  It should be PUs not, lbs.  I'm 58 PUs.," Gavin responds. 

"Actually, that makes more sense.  I don't know that you want people knowing that you have so much peeewwwwwws though." 

We laughed until we cried.  I'm so glad I missed out on my nap.  Even my dream couldn't be that funny.  I'm thankful for the memory and glad we clarified the meaning of weight units. 

Wishful Thinking

What does any mama want from her children?  Well, I started asking this of myself recently and I've decided that I'd like a few things.  Here are just a few:

* I'd like our children to be independent.  Not just tie your own shoes independence, but a true independence that is the envy of others.  Like the  "Wow, your kids do that all by themselves...?! That's so amazing" kind of independence.  I feel like we are on a daily trek towards this and, honestly, I'm feeling VERY far behind on this one. Each day seems like we move only an inch at a time.

* A FULL day of no fighting with each other.  There used to be a time, they were much younger (maybe they didn't really know each other existed), when they played perfectly together.  Why does this seem impossible these days?  One second they play as though they would rather cut their arms off than be separated from each other and the next, they could kill each other with their death glares and unkind words.  My heart becomes exhausted in listening to them and feeling the attacks.  It's unbearable.

* To learn the 1st time we have asked or taught them a lesson.  How many times must we say to "chew with your mouth closed" or "don't pick up the cat"?  Some lessons are hard ones to learn, like falling and bonking your head, yet again, after you've been asked to sit on your bottom on the couch.  Others are ones that just feel embarrassing when out in public, like "don't scratch yourself in your private area while we're at the grocery store, especially near fresh fruit. Yes, it's real folks.  This, I must say, can be a very frustrating part of parenthood.

* A feeling of thankfulness.  For what we have, where we get to visit, what we get to eat, etc.  We are constantly having conversations of how to be appreciative of what we have and not to be greedy.  Being a parent is walking a fine line, because you want to give them wonderful experiences, a happy life full of love and fulfillment, and all their basic needs.  However, you also want to make sure they are grateful for what they have and share with others when THEY notice that someone is going without.  The part where they recognize and they make efforts can be difficult. 

Okay, so that's my wish list, for now.  I can tell you that in the middle of writing this blog, I took a break for a few hours and chatted with the kids about a few things.  One conversation was with Gavin and I asked him what he planned to do with his birthday money.  He said he wanted to buy something for his sister (what would equal the full amount of what he has).  He noticed she didn't have something and wants to get it for her.  Maybe my wishes will come true!?!...just maybe.

Be Creative!

Everyone agrees that being creative is good, right?  Thinking outside of the box is a desire to have and, even better, with the mind of a child so that it's really original.  So, let me share a few tidbits that might get your creative mind thinking a little differently!

 

Have you ever wondered what was in your food?  Most of us ask the usual stuff like, "Is there red food dye in this?" or "Please tell me there are no GMOs right?" Well, have you ever considered something really out of the ordinary?  Maybe we should broaden our thinking a little bit about our food intake.  For example, Sophia recently asked what salmon was made of.  We responded that it was just salmon.  She replied, "Hamsters?"  Now, that REALLY had us thinking...COULD there be hamsters in salmon? Sure does make you think, right?  Very creative.

 

What about your toilet paper rolls or just any old piece of paper rolled up into a cylinder?  Most of us might think to recycle it to create new paper products.  Sophia's answer was to create a food feeder for her invisible bird friend, Merck.  I mean, why not?  Makes sense to me!

 

 

Or perhaps you're really into someone with whom you work or hang out.  Many of you might ask that person to go on a date or befriend them in a way that allows you to spend more time.  Sophia was very clever in learning the word "captivate" within her recent princess books.  She's decided that she'll captivate from afar and declare boyfriends, but NEVER tell them, because that would be "embarrassing."  I must say I prefer this idea as a mama.

 

Lastly, what about those of you who like to make crafts and get all creative in those craft rooms and work spaces?  I'm sure you've given some art a try, maybe some creative juices have been flowing with you and you've come up with some real originals.  However, I'm sure this one has never popped in your mind...a rhinoceros headband, for the person who wants to be a rhinoceros when they don't want to be a person. This one blows my mind with creativity.  I hate to say it, but I'm sure your ideas are no where near this one. 

 

 

That's just it.  In all of these little life segments with her, I've come to realize that she is just sooooo creative.  Her mind thinks of really great and unusual ways to live life to the fullest.  In this world of rules and regulations, school and schedules, I'd like to think that she'll walk away 20 years from now with these same great ideas.  I hope so at least.  I hope she won't be stifled.  I hope she'll feel supported and admired for her creativity. 

 

So, if she offers you a great idea, one that is beyond your wildest imagination, take it and run with it.  You might just realize that she's pretty amazing, because I know I do.  

Getting My Blinders On!

What do people say of me and my family when we're not around?

 

For example, what did the lady say that sat and watched my children flip open birthday cards full of crazy sounds and songs as they laughed hysterically in the middle of Rite Aid?  Does she say, "Wow, those kids can appreciate a great card when they see one, especially the one with the dancing tango cat!" OR does she say, "Can't she keep those kids quiet?! This is a pharmacy store for gosh sake!"  I'm not sure.  I couldn't quite tell, but it sure did look like she had a snotty look.

 

Or, what about the nurse who was at the doctor's office, trying to get Sophia to listen to the beep in the machine to pass her hearing test?  Where Sophia was crying, because really...it wasn't about the hearing test, but the upcoming vaccination she knew she'd be getting.  Might she say, "That lady should have taken her in the car and given her a spank." OR does she mutter, "I wouldn't want to do this either, poor kid."  I'm not sure, again.  She gave us a disapproving glare and told us we might have to reschedule.

 

Maybe the time when I was sobbing in my car, in the shopping mall parking lot, as I took in information about, yet another, issue to deal with as a mama.  When I looked over in the car next to me I noticed a man looking over.  What might he be thinking?  "Geez, another sappy woman crying in her car, what a mess."  Or perhaps it might have been, "That mama might have a lot to deal with today.  Maybe I should buy her a mocha-caramel latte from the nearest Starbucks to help her feel better."  ...I'm pretty sure it wasn't the last one, but a girl likes to dream. 

 

So many situations like this arise where I wonder what others are thinking and what kind of an impact we're making in our community and in our little part of the world.  But, I do know that we take each day at a time.  We're judged by God and He enlightens us everyday with our new section of our life path.  Sometimes we stumble a little or don't follow a road sign, but we're always trying to do our best.  I guess that's when I realize that I don't always have to worry about what others think. We are going to just enjoy life with our blinders on and love the ride! I may even purchase a set of these...

 

My focus is on God and He will give me the strength I need to stay focused on Him and His path. The rest of it is just in my peripheral and I'm okay with that.



She's What?!?! 5 years old?!

I'm constantly blown away by this kind-hearted soul. 

 



 

Yes, it has been 5, yes 5, glorious years with this beauty.  She certainly adds a lot of joy to our lives and she ALWAYS makes our lives exciting! Either with her smiles, jokes, or overall love for others, we've realized that we're blessed by having her as part of our family.  Say, "cheese!"  Being 5 is going to be so easy!  



From the Mouths of Babes

Important Quotes To Remember:

* "Princess songs make you cry, because they are so lovable."  -Gavin

* "I love bald heads, just because."  -Sophia

* "Are you going to the circus?" -Sophia

* "I am going to give you a big kiss, (deep breath in), I'm going in!" -Sophia

* "I love mini coopers and Bobs."  -Sophia

 

Super Mama...to the rescue!

Today I was told, by my son, that I have "amazing super powers" as he laid down on the floor looking at me in amazement, shaking his head in awe.  Ummmm, yep.  It's true.  I am "Super Mama!"  I didn't know all of my super glow was shining through so heavily, but I guess it was going to come out at some point. 

 

I might not be able to lift a car with one hand at this very moment, but pump a little adrenaline in me when someone messes with my baby cubs and I'll move a mountain.  Now, most of the time, you'll see me at my best movements...bowel movements.  That is honestly how I was discovered this evening. 

 

"Gavin, I think you might have to go to the bathroom, you're stinkin' up the place.  Seriously, like rotten food or something.  Please get in there and go,"  I say. 

 

"No, I'm fine.  I DON'T have to go!" (after an hour of this wretched stench leakage), Gavin replies. 

 

"Really, this is bad Gavin.  No, really.  I can't stand it anymore.  You need to go in and go potty and take care of business.  I think your bottom is screaming silently for help in there,"  I beg.

 

(Going on 2 hours) "Mama, why don't you just trust me?  I'm telling you I don't have to go.  Why don't you just believe me?,"  Gavin retorts.

 

"It's time.  I just know Gavin.  I know you better than I know myself.  I'm your mama and I know when you have to go to the bathroom.  Believe me, you NEED to go,"  I say, hoping that he will hear my plea.

 

"Ok, I'll go and try,"  he sighs. (after I started counting down...ridiculousness, but it was necessary)

 

 ...cue elevator music...10 minutes later. (I'm sure you can infer what transpires during this allotted time)

 

Gavin lays down on the ground in the kitchen and states, very clearly I must say proudly, "Mama, you have amazing super powers.  You knew I had to go to the bathroom before I even knew I had to go. You have more super powers than me."  Super mama to the rescue!

 

BUT, I have to admit that I DID have a little help getting to this point.  I'm a hard-working, floundering mama just like every mama I know out there.  I just have an AMAZING team of supporters and rally members who give to me one of the most important gifts of all...wisdom.  At that moment, right after he said those words, I immediately credited those before me who have helped in guiding Todd and I as parents.  Those who have supported us with hugs, through our tears in all of our years as parents and together, and who have challenged us to keep forging ahead for the sake of our family.  Words of wisdom have helped in leading the way. 

 

So, although it was a life altering bowel movement for our son, I can't take all the credit.  I'll pass this cheer over to the grandparents, but I WILL continue to refer to myself as "Super Mama" in the 3rd person for all of you who talk with me in the future.  hahahaha! That's just how I roll...up, up and AWAY!!!!!!!!!

Go Dog Go is a BAD Influence

As we kiss Gavin goodnight, he looks at us very seriously and states that he has a problem.  Todd and I are wondering what kind of deep discussion is about to happen and whether this is a worthwhile endeavor to have right before bed.  Then in all seriousness, Gavin says, "Go Dog Go has been teaching my animals how to jump off the bed." 

 

Go Dog Go is a stuffed animal, from Kohls, given to him by my aunt and uncle when we went to Florida.  Apparently he is the ring leader of some sort of bed club mob that gathers together after Gavin closes his eyes for rest.  This has been concluded because most, if not all, of his animals are on the floor when Gavin wakes up.  The only thing that seems logical is that Go Dog Go is convincing the other animals to jump to their death. 

 

I'm not sure about you, but I think this is a problem.  We have a no bullying rule at our house and Go Dog Go needs to realize that we have zero tolerance.  Needless to say, we'll be having a conversation with this "over-board bed pushing monster" to deal with this situation. Just look at him...

...a common criminal.

Pinkie Irrationalities

Acting like Jekyll and Hyde is Sophia's specialty, especially when she's tired.  Drama becomes her go-to sign that's she has had enough and closing her eyes is the best option.  Not too far back, I was putting Sophia to bed and we were snuggling together.  This is what she says...

 

Me: "It's time to go to sleep Sophia.  You're tired."

 

Sophia: "No I'm not.  I'm just so worried."

 

Me: "Worried about what?"

 

Sophia: (insert lots of random tears) I'm worried because I only have 2 pinkies! (VERY DISTRAUGHT)

 

Me: (trying not to bust a gut, because I know that will send her over the edge) "Oh, well you have lots that you can do with 2 pinkies though.  Goodnight."

 

Look down at your hand.  Do you ONLY have two pinkies?  If so, you should be concerned.  Dr. Sophia has just diagnosed you. 

 

 

Individuality Equals Greatness

It was always said that "siblings are so different."  Expect that "they will be complete opposites" and they will "not be doing the same things at the same time so, don't compare them."  That couldn't be more true for these two.  I still stare at them, in wonder, trying to figure out how they both are so vastly different, but I've come to find out that their differences are truly amazing.

 



 

Gavin, born first, is the quiet, "taking it all in," serious one.  As if born to play strategy games, he analyzes every move and thinks about his plan.  Academically, he is ahead of his game as he knows all of his states, many countries and their locations, reading at a 2nd grade level and can problem solve just about anything.  He wants to always be his best and it can be a challenge as sometimes he hasn't figured out how to be a gracious loser.  It also makes it hard for him to make friends, but when he does, he's loyal and caring.  When you REALLY get to know him though, he's quite the comedian.  He can make you laugh with the funniest sayings and his little, quirky cuteness is pretty irresistible.  Here are a few pictures that capture his amazing personality:

 

Sophia, on the other hand, is all diva.  She learned at an early age (6 months) how to fake cry and wrap a few people around her little finger.  She's a genuine pro and she can turn it on like a faucet.  Although she knows that she can't pull that business around us, she'll still make attempts to push boundaries.  She's fierce, outgoing and edgy and she ADORES her brother, wanting to please him however she might.  She has a maniacal laugh that will get you chuckling and quite a few little funny tokens up her sleeve to make you adore her.  She will do anything to play princess and dress up as she believes she was sent here to earth to be one and show the world that she can rule the world. Here are a few little pics of her little personality:

 



As you can tell, they are both adorable little munchkins that will have a lot to contribute to this world. Keep an eye out for them throughout the years, they will make a great impact on the world! 

What Career Do You Choose?

 

Todd and I both have college degrees; however, we really want our children to know that they can do anything and be anything that will make them happy in life.  Even though we often will throw out the possibility of college, we do it just so they know it can be a possibility, not necessarily a mandate. 

 

On this note, we went on an ice cream field trip last night and had another discussion about what they both might like to do when they get older.  Gavin has become pretty set on going to college.  In fact, he has already decided where he'd like to attend.  Georgia Tech is his school of choice.  He has stated that it will keep him close to home and he can still go to college.  Wow, I'm pretty impressed that he has taken this into account.  We're not sure exactly what field he will be pursuing or if this choice will continue, but we find it pretty interesting that he is pretty adamant about it.

 

 

Sophia on the other hand is pretty indecisive.  We enjoy listening to her many creative ideas and we always try and foster it.  On this night, we'd been talking about what they might do when they got older and Gavin threw out his usual, "you know...where I've said before.  Georgia Tech is what I'm doing."  So, we ask Sophia. 

 

Me: "Sophia, what are you wanting to do when you get older? 

 

Sophia: "Eat cookies.  Big, giant ones."

 

Me: "I know of a cookie place that you might like to work at. :)"

 

 

 

...we'll have to encourage her to be part of baking the cookies, not just the eating process.  :)  At this point, she assumes that is a job all in itself.  The mind of a child is precious.

 



Moving Back in the World of Buses

Reality is setting in that Gavin will soon be a 1st grader, not a kindergartner any more. What in the world happened to time?  Just yesterday I was sobbing at the bus stop as he took his first steps onto the bus on his first day of school. Riding the bus seems to bring me anxiety as I've come to realize that there is just so much a bus driver can watch out for.  This leaves my "baby" to fend for himself sometimes.  We had a few little mishaps at the beginning of the year, which had me in a frenzy, but we are now comforted that he sits a little closer to the front in order for the bus driver to have "closer eyes" on him.

 

An excuse, that works for now, is that he is in kindergarten and he just needs some extra watchful eyes.  However, soon it will not be the case and he'll be allowed to sit in different seats.  He has also come to realize this, but he has also processed that there is one spot he is just not able to enter at this time.  This is his statement of the night...

 

Gavin: "I want to be in 5th grade so that I can sit in the back of the bus.  It will be enjoying.  They talk loud and put their feet in the aisles and I want to do that."   

 

Wow, is this what we get to look forward to?  I'm beginning to see why more and more parents choose to drive their children to school and pick them up.  So many things to "let go" as a parent.  Wish us luck!

 



 

Twinkle, Twinkle A Little Surprised

Each night, I snuggle up with the kids and sing a song before they go to sleep.  It allows me to have some individual time with both of them and to just enjoy a little time with them alone.  Sophia, in particular, is adamant about having a song each night.  It is usually Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and she will make attempts to sing with me, some times, but often she will just sit back and listen and smile. 

 

On this particular night, she wanted to sing this song and this time she joined in.  This is what she sang...

 

"Twinkle, twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high.  There is Jesus in disguise.  Twinkle, twinkle little start.  How I wonder what you are."

 

Okay, I have to admit that I chuckled for a minute and even asked her what she sang.  She just said it so naturally as if these have always been the words.  Did she even know what she was saying?  That night, Todd and I had a laugh about it and I even talked about it the next day.  But, now I'm really thinking of what she has said. 

 

We often talk about our beliefs in our household.  We are firm believers that God is love and that he shows us His love in so many ways and through so many people in our lives.  We've talked about how we can be quick to judge others appearances and not discover the beauty that God gave them on the inside.  We've talked about how God is everywhere and you never know when you'll encounter Him.  We've discussed acceptance and loving others as He would want us to. 

 

I'm not sure if it is her understanding that she is sharing through her song or just a misinterpretation of the words, but I do appreciate the opportunity to take her words and count them as blessings that we might be on the right path.  I pray that these opportunities will lead to an understanding of a bigger God and a greater love than either of my children can ever grasp.  We are so blessed.

 

 



 

Let's Learn Spanish

Gavin is enamored with a girl in his class named Brittany.  She came in as a new student, to his kindergarten classroom, before Christmas and we hear nothing but wonderful things about how amazing she is.  A tidbit to know that makes it all interesting is that he can't communicate with her as she speaks nothing but Spanish.  He thinks this just makes her more incredible and it forces him to show what he refers to as his "handsome face" so that he can make her laugh and smile at him. (It involves his left eyebrow wiggling up and down with little shooter hands next to his face...it's hilarious.)

 

Here is something similar and shows he is pretty dashing...

Recently, he has made attempts at learning her language.  Occasionally he'll ask for a new word and show off that he has learned something new, but it usually is just a new number or a made up word.  Tonight, as we were chatting again about her, he said that he wanted to learn a new word so that he could talk with her...really talk to her.  In all seriousness, I know he is getting a little frustrated with the language barrier and he is super excited that she is also learning English (he thinks she is doing it for him, and him alone and not because she is immersed in an English only speaking school setting). 

 

So, I asked him, "what word would you like to learn? If you could learn one word and say to her, what would you say?"

 

His response... you won't believe it... never in a million years will you guess it...

 

 

"HEXAGON," he said matter-of-factly.  As if that word makes the most sense to say in the whole wide world.  Who wouldn't say "hexagon?"  Duh.

 

"THAT is the word you are choosing to say to her?" I say. "Hexagon? ...Hi Brittany...hexagon.  What do you think she is going to do or say back to you?"  He laughed so hard and couldn't even stand up straight.  Like it hit him like a ton of bricks how crazy it sounded.  Then, he stopped and looked me dead in the eyes and with all seriousness said, "Actually, no.  I think I'd like to say tetrahedron." 

 

There are no more words.  I am dying of laughter inside.  I think I'll need to talk to his daddy about teaching him some better pick up lines! 

"Lice-Capades"

Does every family go through this one time in their lives?  Maybe more?  I thought we could dodge it...certainly it couldn't happen to us!...right? Well, it did.  And, now that it has happened to us, I'm believing that it probably will happen a few more times before our lives are through.  How easy it was to get and spread.  Whew.  "Lice-capades," as we've been referring to it, was a doozie, but we got through.

 

Here's how it all started...

Gavin's hair was getting a little "moppy" and needed a good cut.  We'd been chatting about it at the dinner table just the night before.  Almost every night I plop some dermatologist-prescribed medicine on his scalp for a scalp condition that he has that causes itchiness.  This particular night, he was itching and requested the medicine.  For us, to see him scratch at his head is just a sign that he needs the medicine, not that he has bugs crawling around. 

Well, I went to put on the medicine and was paying a little closer attention under the light and noticed nits (these are the clearish looking eggs on the hair shaft).  Um, what a shocker.  It hit me like a ton of bricks and it was 8:30 at night.  Next, came a look at Sophia, yep...she had it too. Somehow, Todd and I both managed to dodge the bullet as we looked at each other's scalps and saw nothing. I had to convince myself that we were in for a wild ride and that this was really happening.  I think we just couldn't believe it.  We sent them to bed and set up a game plan for the next day. 

 

After some googling on what to do, we decided that we would take the kids to the pediatrician the next day.  Some have asked why, but we weren't sure that the over-the-counter medicines were ok to use on a 3 year old and, honestly, we wanted someone to tell us this was a joke and it was something else.  So, we woke up early and Todd went to work as I shuttled the crew to the doctors for a confirmation.  Yes, it was, indeed, true.  I asked the doctor to check me again and she seemed to think I had a few nits as well.  This changed my whole mindset as I, originally thought I was in the clear and now I'm not so freaked out at touching my own kids (I think God did this on purpose so that I would get the job done). 

 

Off to the store we go and spend close to $100 to get rid of this.  The whole house got bagged or washed and I spent the entire day washing heads and picking through hair strands of Sophia, equaling close to 4 1/2 hours.  It was unreal.  At that point, it was decided that we would just buzz Gavin's head.  Todd had come home early and did the job, noticing that the hair was, literally, moving as he buzzed.  Ok, freaky.  When he came upstairs for the shampoo and pick-through, we saw how many bugs he had.  Oh my, how did I miss this?  How did I not know?  You could tell that eggs had already hatched and this is a time period of 2 weeks, oh my.  Not a good feeling.  If you are a mama, your heart will sink when/if this happens to you. 

 

We're past it all now.  At first, I was embarrassed.  I felt like I just failed as a mama.  How did I not prevent this?  How did I miss this?  How could I not know and help?  I've come to realize that it just happens and it happens to the best of us.  I'm hoping that, one day, this story will comfort another mama and ease your worries that you feel so alone.  Take it in stride and know you are not alone.  At first, I asked "why us?" and then I realized, "why not us?"  We are not more special than anyone else.  This is a normal part of life and it has made me a better person, and we are a better and stronger family because of it. 



Do I Look Pretty?

Recently I've been hearing a daily, "Do I look pretty?" question from Sophia.  Some days I just smile and think that she is such a doll and how cute she is as she twirls and bounces around like a little Disney wanna-be.  Other days, however, I cringe as my mind begins to spin thinking about all the little nuances behind the question itself.  Why does she need to ask this?  Doesn't she already know that she holds so much beauty, both inside and out and it's bursting from her?  Doesn't she realize the impact she has on others?  Does she see, in the mirror, what reflects to us every day? 

 

I, as her mama, feel extra protective as I just want her to know the beauty that lies within each of us.  Our world can sometimes skew our understanding of beautiful and I'm particular about making sure that she knows that outside beauty can be of all shapes, sizes, and colors and that we are all beautiful in our own way.  So, why is it that she feels the need to ask?  Is it that I haven't made myself clear?  I can tell you though, this girl has love in her heart that oozes out of her.  This is truly what makes her beautiful.  It blows my mind when I gaze upon her that I was part of the effort in bringing her into this world and that she contributes so much to our happiness.  Never could I imagine life without her, now that we've had the opportunity to have a glimpse of what life can be with her in it.

 

I reflect on all of this through our conversation one evening..

 

"Am I pretty?"-Sophia

 

"Yes, you are beautiful in so many ways, both inside and out." -Me

 

"Daddy, do you think I'm pretty?"-Sophia

 

"You know when I find you the most beautiful, Sophia?"-Daddy

 

"No." -Sophia (disappointed as she was hoping for a generic "yes, you are.")

 

"When you first wake up in the morning and your hair is a mess and you are staggering into the bathroom half asleep, because you look like YOU and you are so beautiful." -Daddy

 

"Oh" -Sophia (clearly processing this deep statement and a little confused as to how this could be so beautiful.  This is the point during dinner where I am completely and utterly in love with my husband as he boggles my mind with his kind words and his constant and undying love for us to say the perfect thing to his girls...I love him.)

 

"Do you know when I think you are most beautiful?" -Me

 

"No." -Sophia

 

"When you go over to a friend and share with them and when you show kindness to others.  You are so incredibly beautiful when you do kind things for others.  Your face is so pretty with your smile and you are just so, so beautiful." -Me (hoping she is finally seeing what we see when we look at her)

 

*silence* (She is thinking about our words and frozen, not sure how to respond)

 

"Do you know when I think you are the most beautiful Sophia?" -Gavin (Clearly he has taken on some lessons from his amazing father...I'm quite impressed at this point)

 

"No." -Sophia (Seemingly shocked that her brother could possibly find her beautiful)

 

"When you play with me.  You are so beautiful when you play with me."  -Gavin (Ok, yes.  I was tearing up a little at this point, looking over at my husband in awe at this comment.)

 

*smile* (She looks like the point has finally been driven home...we find her gorgeous, for so many reasons)

 

Life sure does have some rocky moments.  There are some in which we feel we will never conquer.  This topic just happens to be one of them.  I haven't always found myself to be beautiful, but I don't want that for my daughter.  I'm hoping that moments like these outweigh what the world depicts as "beautiful" preying on her self image.  Next time, I'll try not to wait for her to ask.  I'll just tell her what I see and hope that others will do the same.  Maybe between all of us, we can help her to know that she is one amazingly, beautiful girl...no matter what.

Under a Spell

Nighttime always ends with silly stories, cuddles, and kisses before our loves go fast asleep.  Usually, it's Todd or myself trying to get them to laugh or giggle in order to hopefully send them off to good dreams.  This night, Sophia was the one to make us burst out in laughter...

 

As I lay at her bedside, snorting into her ear, tickling her toes, and kissing her forehead, Sophia pops out with, "Daddy saved you from a spell." 

 

"Oh yea, what spell was I under?"  assuming this was going to be pretty interesting.

 

"You see this tattoo here on my arm?  You were like this vampire and you had a vampire spell.  Daddy saved you with a kiss."

 

"Well, thank goodness for that."  Ha! I don't think daddy would have come within 5 feet of me, if I were a vampire, but ok.

 

I'm guessing I would have looked a little like this.  Kind of like a cute vampire...are there any of those? I kind of wonder where all of this came from.  I would especially worry about the two different eye colors, but I think I'd get over that pretty quickly.



 

An Unchangeable Vote

Being furloughed today brought about relaxation and an opportunity to put Gavin on the bus and meet him getting off the bus, something I never get to do. This afternoon, he got off the bus and others around him came off, wearing "I voted" stickers.  Driving along the road, an hour later, Gavin began to share how it was an important day today, because he got to vote.  Here is our hilarious conversation about his first voting experience.

"What did you vote on?" I asked.

"We voted on the president, vice president, and treasurer of the school. There were some girls and boys to vote for.  I voted for all the girls." he said.

"Why did you only vote for the girls?" I asked.

"They're prettier. I can't change my vote mom.  It's already done and I just had to vote on the girls, because they are prettier."  he stated matter of factly.

"Oh, I see." I said, chuckling to myself.

"Like I already said, I can't change my vote. It's done.  The girls were pretty." He repeats.

"Oh."...me.

"I mean Daddy's handsome, Papa's handsome, all guys in our family are handsome, but I still can't change my vote. The girls were prettier." declared by the new and enthused voting school citizen.

Apparently, we have our priorities off a little when it comes to elections.  I guess he has some of his own opinions though and he's persistent about his rationales for who is the best candidate for the job.  Perhaps we'll have a more meaningful conversation about the voting process before any major elections come around. 

 

The "Dokie" Dance

Showin' off her moves is her main priority.  Sophia does not hesitate to move and groove to her own music, which she has, as of today, officially named the "dokie dance."  Yes folks, this does not make sense to you or me, but the "dokie dance" does, indeed, exist.  It involves constant movement of your tooshie as you say, "do do do, doo-doo do do, do do do...."  It can go on to infinity.  The whole while the "do dos" are mixed with laughter and arms waving.  The image below can help bring this dance to reality.  I guess Sophia is not the only one who can do it so naturally.

 

As you can see, this is a mind-boggling dance that only professionals attempt.  I have no idea how one doesn't shake out brain cells in the mean time! What fun having a girl can be! I really love it and I love watching the "dokie dance!" And, yes, we will be enrolling her in dance classes soon to give her a few other options.